When it comes to dating, too many potentially epic love end before beginning, simply because we do not like the physical aspect of the other person. Let me ask you this: If you were blind, you would find it attractive? Many people confuse the appearance and charm, but it’s not the same thing. We can turn the head when a handsome man crosses our path, but too often, once we spoke to him, he quickly from prince toad. You know, beautiful on the outside and empty inside. In contrast, a man with crooked teeth and a little belly can have confidence and playfulness that makes it irresistible. The real attraction seems to be a mystery, but science now can better explain. Of course, appearance plays a role. But other aspects also come into play. My friend has almost canceled a first date with a man because she did not like his voice on the phone. Today they are married.
The odor may also be a factor in what is called the experience of sweaty T-shirt, a Swedish study in 1995 showed that women are sexually attracted to the smell of men who were genetically different from the them, indicating that the smell influence the choice of partner. If the initial sexual attraction is the first factor, this attraction has to withstand the test of time. Sometimes it works, of course, but most of us are familiar with the relationships where the sparkling chemistry eventually become stale. So if the man in question interests you is that it has some the main qualities you look for in a mate. But can you make you fall in love? According to research on love and marriage, we can create a deep connection with someone cultivating the skills that lead to trust and connection.
Robert Epstein, senior research psychologist at the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology , California, has studied what he calls the love stories of Western society and has compared to the arranged marriages. He found that the lovers, loving feelings in love stories fade in about half the cases in the first 18 months of a relationship, but that in an arranged marriage, love can develop gradually, and even end up exceeding the love from relationships where partners are chosen. In 2002, Dr. Epstein has taken himself whether it was possible to fall in love with anyone, and he chose a woman he met on a plane. She agreed to try.
They created an intimacy through confidence building exercises such as sharing vulnerabilities, deep looks. They also cultivated loving touch, the search for shared adventures … And they actually fell in love with each other. In the end, the relationship did not last because it was a long distance relationship. As a result of this experience, Dr. Epstein has taught at the university to connect in the same way so that they were put in touch with comrades at random, mostly strangers to each other. Students who have created intimate moments have developed a greater sense of closeness with their partners. Do not confuse the fact of finding the good or not with the fact of finding the romantically and sexually attractive. You have more to say than you think in this little madness called love. Do not forget about a man only because the spark is not waiting for you at the first meeting. Let the chemistry laboratory. Then close your eyes, move closer to, and make your own experiences of attraction, desire and love. PSYCHOLOGIST CHERYL FRASER, PH.D., AND IS sex therapist RELATIONS ADVISOR.