It’s completely normal for adults to feel like they have a somewhat strained relationship with their parents. Over the years, things were bound to have happened that either rubbed you the wrong way or rubbed your parents the wrong way. While these could be big problems, like a parent’s drug addiction, or small issues, like forgetting to send a card on a birthday, there are always ways to move past the problems of yesterday and create a new future for yourself and your parents. To show you how, here are three ways you can begin to have a better relationship with your parents as an adult.
Only Ask For Advice You Actually Want
When you were growing up, your parents likely gave you advice on a lot of different topics. Parents generally love their children unconditionally and want to save them from any pain or heartache that can come from making a bad choice. But at a certain point, advice given by parents can be too much. If you have this issue with your parents, Reader’s Digest recommends only asking for advice when you actually want it. Children often ask for advice when they’re actually just seeking approval. As an adult, you no longer need your parents’ approval. So if you truly want advice about something, feel free to talk to your parents. But if you have no real plans of taking their advice, it’s best to not even solicit it.
Be Clear Regarding Boundaries
As you’ve gotten older, your relationship with your parents has to have changed. As adults, some of the behavior your parents used to exhibit toward you may no longer be considered appropriate. To help them know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with, Maud Purcell, a contributor to PsychCentral.com, suggests setting clear boundaries with your parents. If you feel very firmly about these boundaries, make sure your parents are aware of that. And if they happen to overstep these bounds, it’s important to let them know what happened and how that made you feel.
When Issues Arises, Don’t Attack Them Personally
Even between people with the best relationship, conflict can and does arise. When this happens, especially with your parents, it’s important to know how to address the issue without attacking them personally. To do this, Raven Ishak, a contributor to Bustle.com, recommends trying to separate your feelings about the issue for the actual issue itself. This will help you to communicate more effectively as well as see their side more clearly. In the end, having this separation could make avoiding this problem in the future much easier.
If you want to have a better relationship with your parents as an adult, use the tips mentioned above to help start you on that journey today.